Thank you all for joining Petra and I tonight as we shared some of the reminders that have made the single season beautiful and strengthening. For those that missed the Live Chat (which you can still check out on FaceBook!) and because I wanted to share a few more nuggets, here is a follow up to the discussion…
If you would’ve told me that at 31 years old I’d still be single, I would sternly side-eye you and then politely yet promptly walk away. Yes, that would be my actual reaction. It would be just that offensive to me. But that inconceivable state is exactly where I am today and it is every bit the struggle a Christian woman with a heart desiring marriage could imagine.
As a single, Christian woman in the 21st century, the daily reminders of singleness and its perceived undesirability are, at the least, annoying and at the most agonizing. Singleness is not nearly the anomaly today as it was 20 years ago. However in this social media age, the pervasiveness to pry, spy, stalk and compare is greater now than it’s probably ever been. Through these profoundly unhealthy and unwise habits, the temptation to lament one’s singleness is all but mandatory. And I won’t even begin to address those staple in-person reminders from well-meaning loved ones AND the nosy gossips.
This piece, though, has NO steps, keys or tools to “get the guy”, “get married in a year” or “how to be a supremely contented single”. *sigh* Yes, I know. I’m sorry. This piece will offer you, though, a soul-saving REMINDER to combat that unrelenting, man-made clock ticking in your heart. God knows EXACTLY what He’s doing. SHOCKER! Not really but in the scheme of a hope deferred, it’s great fuel for one’s faith.
Now, I know this reminder is an often raised truth that has taken on a clichéd tint; especially since it’s usually offered in those unexpected or undesirable life situations rear their ugly heads. But when this biblically true statement is measured next to the truth of scripture in the context of who God is, we should feel great relief.
Far too often as believers, we fail to understand that God is a living being that’s actively at work in our lives. God does not operate in a vacuum and our lives are not a series of independent events occurring either to gratify or depress us. He’s living and listening and working everything out for our good because He loves us. It’s a truth that sounds marvelous in theory but when your heart is aching, it seems counter-intuitive to believe that God is using our tears and labor to cultivate a magnificent harvest.
But this is what a true faith walk is all about; hope has to be deferred, the blessings have to be delayed or denied in order to figure out what really matters. Where’s my confidence? Where’s my peace? Where’s my joy? What truly matters? Difficult as it is to understand, these moments are some of the most precious times of life.
We’re stripped of pretense and discover our most fundamental parts are seeking its source. The heart, the mind and the spirit are responding to the most important thing one could ever need, connection to the One who gave us life and cares so deeply about it.
God in His infinite wisdom, grace and love wants your best parts to be good and that’s only accomplished when we stop holding on so tight to what we think we need to have or what we think we have to do. He’s ratcheting things up so we’ll loosen our grips and let go. We stop making ourselves god and respond to the Spirit He’s poured out within us.
While we all want our situations to be better or different, it’s really our responses and reactions that need modification. And God is the perfect one to teach, lead and guide us. NO matter what you go through or you feel, never give up on God. Yell at Him. Cry to Him. Wrestle with him. He’s big, He can take it. But don’t stop believing in Him.
Keep getting up. Keep up with your responsibilities. Keep praying. Keep reading the Bible. Keep serving Him. Keep helping people as it’s possible for you. And when the waves of emotion strike, just keep saying “Lord, have mercy”. You might have to say it 1000 times a day. But the scope of His mercy will find you and you’ll notice you’re not overtaken as often or for nearly as long.
And when He does bless you…make sure you tell somebody else what He did for you.
Scripture References: James 1, Roman 8:28, Psalm 139:1-3, Psalm 147:5, Jeremiah 17:10, Job 31:4, Isaiah 55:9, Proverbs 3:5-6, Matthew 6:25-33
May your season be beautiful in its time,
Amanda
Amanda Edwards is a Jesus-loving, super Gator fan, aspiring actress with a ridiculous penchant for savory and sweet treats continually seeking how to enjoy this ride called life. She loves movies, music books, working in her church, encouraging and praying for people.
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