How often do we get sidetracked when it comes to improving our current practices and goals? How often do we allow ourselves to slip back into those habits that are perhaps not detrimental but certainly not beneficial to our relationship or marriage? For my single girls, how often did it play a role in past relationships and friendships?
I’d dare say, often. Very often.
I constantly think about ways to improve my marriage and be a more loving wife. I give myself the pep talk to prep for cleaning, cooking and spending quality time. Then I come home and crash. Almost every time. I am often disappointed because I wasn’t able to muster the energy to complete the desired tasks and now I have gotten to that haphazard place of shrugging it off as normal, being a mama of 2.
But today I happened upon Proverbs 4:25. That beautiful and simple instruction. Stay focused. If we take the time to focus on one thing at a time and properly prepare for it, we won’t be as overwhelmed. We won’t find ourselves pulled in a hundred directions with no recourse. We will have planned for the item(s) that have been prioritized on our list and we can tune out the rest because we have already determined that they are not a priority. Perhaps easier said than done. Just remember that it can be done. It is such a sweet reward to realize that we can accomplish our goals of having a clean home, hot meal and happy life. We just have to balance.
So, it’s not impossible and THAT gives me hope. We can focus, we can complete and we can have quality downtime.
You know what else this could apply to outside of scheduling? Our marriages. Our courtships. Our getting-to-know you stages. If we have determined that this person is someone that we want to spend our time with, or potentially forever, we should take the time to honor them with our attention. When we are with them or even just chatting on the phone, focus on what they are saying. Listen to what they are not saying. Give them the gift of investing in who they are and applauding who they want to become. Don’t allow yourself to become distracted by others or activities. Especially when you are courting with the intent of marriage or you’re already married. Remember that your first ministry will be your family and that starts with your spouse. I had to learn to put my phone down during my date time with Robbie. I didn’t think it was an issue until one day I left my phone at home and realized how much fun I was having with him when I was not distracted. I realized how much more I learned about him during that brief three hour exchange. Let me stop and say that sometimes you have to multitask. It’s unavoidable, but when you can solely focus on him…do it. You’ll love it. He’ll love it. Your relationship will love it.
Robbie even mentioned to me how sometimes I get a little more agitated when we are talking if I am also texting, emailing or trying to surf the web. As if he is a nuisance. Which he is not. I had to think hard about that. He was right. I do get testy and short with him when it feels like he is interrupting me. So I’ve learned to think of everything else as a disruption to HIS time with me. It has dramatically changed my outlook and approach.
[a portion of this post has been redacted and moved to the new post “Fairytale vs Reality”, go check it out!]
There are so many things that compete for our attention. Don’t let that throw you off of your game. If you are frazzled and scattered, nothing will be done WELL. That’s not the way you want to go through life. Excel at being balanced.
Sweet friend, take the time to prioritize and focus. It will give you such joy when your peace is realized.
xoxo
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