So, to close out this series on courtship God’s way, let me encourage you. People can only guide you from a path they have walked. Think it not strange when you find yourself in the throes of a relationship and it looks nothing like what your favorite Christian relationship expert said it would be. There’s a balance to be found between “he’s the one…no HE’s the one…nope, it’s gotta be HIM…” and “well it can’t be him because even though he has a nice job, he doesn’t open my car door…he’s cool but he doesn’t read his Bible three times a day like I want him to…I’m not sure because he’s all I ever wanted but he doesn’t look like I thought he would.”
I have found myself on this struggle bus at times, cycling through the characteristics of everyone else’s love stories—the prayers they prayed, what they asked for, what they deemed as important in a mate—and then wondering if I prayed the right prayer, if I asked for the right things, yadda yadda yadda… And I have allowed it to rob me of my peace and the rest that God so desperately wants me to walk in.
Girl, let me tell you something. When God answers your prayer for the man He has for you, believe Him when He answers you. That is hands-down the most difficult thing I have dealt with in my courtship season. I got what I prayed for, God has made it c r y s t a l clear, but because I secretly doubt how much He loves me; I doubt my worth to Him sometimes; I see other “more worthy” or older friends of mine who haven’t met anyone yet; and I think, “Lord, are you sure? ME?”
What qualifies the timing of God’s plan for you is not based on what anybody else is or is not doing. Just because sister so-and-so seemingly “should” be at a certain place doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Getting a man is not a reward for some type of behavior, and not getting a man is not a punishment! Yes, a godly man is a prize, but he shouldn’t be the ONLY thing you aspire to have! Having a man is not the supreme marker of success in life. Your purpose is NOT wrapped up in some other person. Period. Breathe in. Breathe out. K, great.
Contentment with your current season is how you properly usher in the next season. And I know, that is suuuuuccchhh a cliché statement, but it’s what I have found to be my truth. I hated for people to say that to me though. Hated it. But here I am, saying it right back to you. Interesting. For someone who has desired marriage since the age of four, it’s been a long waiting period lol. And I’m still not married to this day, but guess what? I’m in no rush! I am thoroughly enjoying this season—getting to know another person doesn’t happen overnight and before you agree to saying “I do”, you better find out everything you can about them (at least the things that matter—ain’t nobody got time for no 3-4-5 year dating period to find out ev-er-y-thing!). But that’s the fun. That’s the good stuff. It’s sometimes the hard stuff, too. But it’s necessary. It’s essential. If you’re rushing though, you’ll overlook things and then be yoked together with someone who is not God’s best for you, OR it will be God’s best but you’ll encounter red flags that could’ve been knocked down while courting. Your man won’t be perfect, and you need to work through/talk about a LOT of things before you “jump the broom” so don’t expect it to be easy peasy! You’ll get your feelings hurt if that’s your expectation LOL.
Anywho… back to the topic.
If you find yourself single with zero prospects, bask in it. Learn who you are. Then love her. It’ll make “him” love you even more. Self-love attracts others-love.
If you find yourself in a relationship and you’re doubting it, give your concerns to God. He will tell you whether or not to stop or go. Listen and obey. God will take care of the nitty gritty remnants that may result.
If you find yourself with a man who is an answer to your prayer, but you’re still doubting, again, give your concerns to God. If He’s silent, it’s probably because HE’S ALREADY ANSWERED YOUR PRAYER AND IS WAITING FOR YOU TO REST IN THAT. Chill, woman 😉
In any case, whether your specific situation is explicitly stated above or not, trust and BELIEVE that if marriage is God’s plan for your life, He will orchestrate it 1,000,000x better than you will. It might look different, come different, feel different, but He will show you His plan for Y-O-U.
He won’t keep you in the dark forever, but He will allow you plenty of opportunities to trust Him. Sometimes that means He will be silent. Sometimes that means He won’t give you what you want. Sometimes that means He will give you exactly what you want so you can see it’s not what you need, and ultimately not what you really want. The goal in any endeavor in life is to trust God, and any way He can bring that forth, He will.
No matter your situation, the best is yet to come.